The Merry Monk

At the appointed place and time all stand.

Celebrant “Whosoever will may come.”
People “May God bless the Hell out of you.”

The people are seated and the celebrant reads from the Rule of St. Benedict and the Legend of the Merry Monk.

Celebrant

But the fourth class of monks is that called Landlopers, who keep going their whole life long from one province to another, staying three or four days at a time in different cells as guests. Always roving and never settled, they indulge their passions and the cravings of their appetite, and are in every way worse than the Sarabaites [a most vile class of monks]. It is better to pass all these over in silence than to speak of their most wretched life.

-The Rule of St. Benedict

“The Merry Monk was a notorious 8th century Landloper (or Gyrovague). He rejected the Rule of St. Benedict as a standard for monastic life in favor of a life of “wild abandonment to the love and care of God” (Messy Monkery, 111). He believed that all religious, cultural, economic, national, physical and spiritual barriers between God and man were destroyed by the incarnation, teachings, death and resurrection of God in the person of Jesus Christ and that “whosoever will may come” (The Merry Commentary on Revelation 22:17, 349). As such, his order (if it could be called an order at all) welcomed everyone from the most notorious sinners to the most pious of the religious, and they took great joy in “eating and drinking in the presence of God their Father” (The Merry Commentary on Deuteronomy 14:25-26, 295).

The Merry Monk’s love of ale, strong drink, wine and good food was legendary. He and the members of his order were responsible for the flourishing of many public houses, inns and eating and drinking establishments on the path of their wanderings. Their love for feasting was bested only by their love for God in the least, lost and lonely. When the Merry Monks came to town, local orphanages, jails and parishes could expect visits, generous gifts and extra help from the order during their sojourn. In fact, upon word of the Merry Monks’ impending arrival, townspeople would rejoice at their good fortune and often begin preparations weeks in advance.

Many scholars and theologians believe that the Order of the Merry Monk died out by the end of the dark ages, but those guys don’t get out much.”

People “Amen.”

The celebrant then reviews the local charity that was blessed by the Merry Order’s last gathering and announces the next beneficiary of the Order’s generosity.

During the festivities (preferably at the peak of the enjoyment of our Father’s presence, good gifts and love) donations for that month’s local charity are collected.